Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Getting to the Heart of Your Wants

"I want one million dollars because I'll be rich and free and won't have to work my 9-5 job anymore!"

"I want to find the perfect woman to care for, who'll care for me, because then I'll be loved."

"I want to lose 20 pounds because then I'll look attractive and feel wanted."

This whole post could be a laundry list of wants.  I know I have 'em, and I know you have 'em.  And while we set goals for ourselves, and work for our dreams, we often find a way to feel unfulfilled, whether we achieve them to not.  We struggle sometimes in the journey, with our destination always out of reach.  Or we get there, only to find we actually want more, or something else...

Setting goals & outcomes and striving for your dreams are outstanding directions to go in your life.  Keeping fulfilled in the day-to-day on a simple scale is so very important while doing so though.  A simple reversal in the order in which we approach our goal- and dream-setting can make all the difference.

Rather than "If I get WANT, then I will FEEL this," try focusing on the feeling that you're truly looking to achieve.  Most of our wants are to bring an optimal or ultimate feeling into our life, whether it's at a greater level or on a more consistent basis.  What we're missing though is that we can choose to feel these feelings as passionately or as consistently as we'd like to right now.  Seriously.  All we have to do is start focusing on feeling them.  

Have you ever been in a fight with a loved one, anger raging, when the phone rings?  You pick up it with a "Hello" that's newly cheery or at least strays from the previous anger with which you were consumed.  What about when you're down in the dumps, wallowing in sadness or depression, only to be brought back up to a simple place of joy from a friend's joke, a funny TV show or movie?  These instant switches happen all the time - because we choose to let them happen.  We allow them to and start focusing on the preferred emotion rather than the unwanted one.

If we strive so hard to achieve a goal in order to thereby achieve happiness, joy, health, freedom, etc., we spend too much time and energy - sometimes successfully, sometimes not - to reach something that's accessible to us each and every moment of our lives.  If we stay present in our bodies, our minds, our emotions, and start to focus on feeling happy, joyful, free now, we can create a foundation for ourselves which will only build us up to accomplish those larger wants - which then bring on even more of the feelings that we truly wish to have!  It becomes a win-win-win!  

Over the past month, I've been focusing on five feelings to experience on a daily basis in any/every way possible: Great Creative Passion; Freedom from Restrictions; Loved; Impactful, Influential, Making a Difference; and Vibrant, Energetic, Beaming with Health.  Each day, in addition to my outcome & dream setting, I break it down to the simplest act of experiencing these five.  Knowing that if I experience any one of these, I'll feel good, great, excellent, outstanding, and can most likely do so through most of my outcomes from the day or even simple interactions with myself, friends and loved ones, my cats, or even nature, my days become more joyful, more vibrant, and feel more accomplished - just through my essential base feelings.

Get to the heart of your wants by tapping into your truest heart's feelings.  What are 3-5 feelings you would love to experience on a daily basis?  What feelings will allow you to boost yourself up, thrive, and feel rewarded in the span of a day?  Write these out as your weekly outcome in a schedule, list, etc.  Create a checklist, so you can check them off as they go and so you know what feeling will inject some happiness or freedom in your day if you actively pursue it.

Go for it! I'd love to hear how it works for you, if you feel any benefits mentally, physically, or even start seeing amazing things manifest for you in your personal or professional life.  

No more "out of reach," "too difficult to get."  Get to the heart of your wants by dreaming big and feeling simple.  Everything's right there for you, right now.

All the best and yummiest to you.


  1. Thanks, Steven, for your inspiring post. 5 feelings I want on a daily basis: joy, lightness, friendliness, patience, and valued. My goal is to find a life partner to share my life with. It's a simple goal that I can work on each day with lots of love & support from others, and most importantly, those five feelings while I'm on this journey. (:

    1. Those five feelings - of feeling joyful, lightness, friendliness (I'm guessing from within and also from outside), patience, and of being valued - will strengthen the goals you choose to pursue. In turn, your goals, when you reach them, will most likely bring you to a greater sense of one or more of these feelings. And much more, of course!

      I'm so glad you were inspired. Take that inspiration and these wonderful feelings and enjoy your goal & dream setting. And living & loving day-to-day.

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